Thursday, January 3, 2013

15 wks, 4 days

So I'm already close to 16 weeks pregnant and I feel like I haven't done any of the cute things that I had always planned on doing during my first pregnancy.  I had every intention on tracking every detail of each week by journaling or blogging, taking weekly pictures, etc.  I have yet to do either.  I got a little bit down last night while I was thinking about it and started down a rabbit trail of negative questions and thoughts.  

If I can't even do these simple things now, how will I be a good mother?  

Why aren’t I like all those gorgeous pregnant women on Pinterest who take the cutest pregnancy pictures ever?

Will my child be disappointed that I don't have fun pregnancy things to show him or her? 

It didn't take long for me to realize how ridiculous I sounded!  Why would taking weekly pictures make me more prepared of a mother?  The truth is, I'm not prepared at all.  What first time mother is totally prepared for this job?  I would do myself and my child a great disservice by thinking that I’ve got this all figured out and under control.  In reality, I have ZERO control over either my life or my baby’s life.  The Lord is the only author and sustainer of life.  Only by walking with Him and in the Truth of Jesus Christ will I ever be the godly mother that I desire to be.

I will probably try to kick it in gear with some of this fun pregnancy stuff, but not because I think it will make me more worthy of motherhood.  I know God is faithful and He created this child for a PURPOSE.  I am so excited and grateful that He is blessing Stephen and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store!

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