So
I'm already close to 16 weeks pregnant and I feel like I haven't done any of
the cute things that I had always planned on doing during my first pregnancy.
I had every intention on tracking every detail of each week by journaling
or blogging, taking weekly pictures, etc. I have yet to do either.
I got a little bit down last night while I was thinking about it and
started down a rabbit trail of negative questions and thoughts.
If
I can't even do these simple things now, how will I be a good mother?
Why
aren’t I like all those gorgeous pregnant women on Pinterest who take the
cutest pregnancy pictures ever?
Will
my child be disappointed that I don't have fun pregnancy things to show him or
her?
It
didn't take long for me to realize how ridiculous I sounded! Why would
taking weekly pictures make me more prepared of a mother? The truth is,
I'm not prepared at all. What first time mother is totally prepared for
this job? I would do myself and my child a great disservice
by thinking that I’ve got this all figured out and under control. In reality, I have ZERO control over either
my life or my baby’s life. The Lord is
the only author and sustainer of life.
Only by walking with Him and in the Truth of Jesus Christ will I ever be
the godly mother that I desire to be.
I
will probably try to kick it in gear with some of this fun pregnancy stuff, but
not because I think it will make me more worthy of motherhood. I know God is faithful and He created this
child for a PURPOSE. I am so excited and
grateful that He is blessing Stephen and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has
in store!
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